What's the definition of optimism?
An Investment Banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday evening.
What do you call five hedge fund managers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
A man went to his bank manager and said: 'I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?'
'Simple,' said the bank manager. 'Buy a big one and wait.'
Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker's wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating, "…and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!
Now, Mitsubishi Bank has stalled due to excessively high gearing.
Sony Bank have seen a big reduction in volume.
Yesterday, it was announced that the Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song.
Today, shares in the Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they suddenly nose-dived into the deck, ruining the carrier trade.
Samurai Bank is trying to soldier on following sharp cuts.
Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit and almost turned turtle, but they remain in the black and should survive.
I went to an ATM today, and it asked to borrow a twenty till next week.
Quote of the day (from a trader): “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my money and I still have a wife.”
